How it Feels Like Being Lost Again

For the longest time, I thought I’m way past behind my insecurities in life goals. I left my first job because I thought, it’s making me hate myself for being stuck there when in fact, I was at the floor of my “dream job.” Now, I am here in the same field but in a different perspective which I didn’t expect I’d be in because number one, news is not my thing. I don’t care what or who I am in the company. I felt secure. I felt contented. I felt happy. I felt sure.

 

And as I am typing this, this is the first time in few months that I felt lost again. Being left out. Not with the people I am with now, but with life itself. Because of that one post I saw, it reminded me of how it feels like to be lost and down again. It feels like there’s a huge baggage at your back trying to push you down whenever you attempt to lift it up.

 

I realized, the thing about achievements is being self-fulfilled and contented with what you did, do and will do even if you think others are getting ahead of you; way faster than you do. I told myself: “know this, no matter how long it took you to get that dream, the most important thing is that you will get there.”

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Girl Meets World

They say, when you start working straight from college (I mean really straight), everything will go on and on and on… and on. You will not gonna experience so many things that your college buddies who chose to take a time off first before working.
That sun-kissed tan from the beach… that DIY workshop you’ve been wanting to attend to… that “me time” somewhere while reading a good book… or those days spending for your blog. Oh man, you’re gonna miss these so bad.
When I was in college, I had the urge in my vein to work already after I stepped on that center stage. And fortunately, I was offered immediately, even before I graduate, to work in a prestigious company that everybody (okay, most) in my field dreams of.
On my first day, I was this excited girl who can’t wait to see her own desk and meet new people from a not-so-strange environment. First few weeks has gone by so fast. But the succeeding weeks, the demanding schedule and tasks followed me. I realized, what people keeps saying about working after college is true. Once you’re trapped in your chair and computer, you no longer have the time to do the things you want like before. No time excuse has become my usual line whenever I’m asked to hang out.
I’ve been in this stage where I really want to stop for a moment and… go home. Every time I tell this to people, they always advise me to take a break. It sounds easy but it’s really hard to do. Knowing that our schedule should be flexible and we’re not tied to a strict Monday to Friday, 8:00AM to 5:00PM, our work really demands us to be in the office 24/7. I am not overreacting. Literally, 24/7. And I know that. Life in Media is very demanding and most of the time, exhausting. #TheTruthAboutOurWork
Although it’s not easy for me to juggle every single day away from my family and the things I love, at the end of the day, there is something that is pulling me to stay still. My dreams. My goals.
Whenever I feel down and unmotivated, I always keep myself thinking what led me here and followed by why am I here. My dreams and goals keep me going through that tiny hole of the needle. And even if it’s really hard, I have to be strong and positive to keep going.
I have to work hard to play hard. I know it’s hard at first but eventually, everything will pay off.
No one made a difference by staying in their comfort zone.
The girl once said hi to the world,
It asked her,
Was it nice to meet me?
She answered,
Of course! I’m so glad to meet you!
You may view another version of this post with photos here. 🙂

Pope Francis: The People’s Pope

Source: http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://thewardrobedoor.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/o-pope-francis-facebook.jpg&imgrefurl=http://thewardrobedoor.com/2013/12/did-pope-francis-say-all-religions-are-true.html&h=1030&w=1536&tbnid=5jNzWjZeOF2aaM:&zoom=1&docid=LartvFDDgt8TCM&ei=YYG4VPipNtSMuATbyYGgDw&tbm=isch&ved=0CEQQMygTMBM

Image Source

Sweet and genuine. That is how the Filipinos described Pope Francis’ smile during his motorcade along the roads of Manila. Each person has his own way of showing gratefulness to the Pope in visiting the country. They wave their hands and raise it as high as they can to at least feel the presence and touch of Pope Francis.

Filipinos are very excited to witness this most awaited event. We have all been waiting for this moment to see His Holiness. As what history can remember, my age tells the last time that a Papal Visit happened in the Philippines. It was then Pope and now Saint, John Paul II.

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Source: http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://bustedhalo.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/pope-francis-1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://bustedhalo.com/blogs/pope-francis-a-son-and-a-father&h=350&w=525&tbnid=9POd6wG2bOYFSM:&zoom=1&docid=gIldaHf2zxJkBM&ei=YYG4VPipNtSMuATbyYGgDw&tbm=isch&ved=0CGUQMygnMCcThey say that seeing the Pope is one of the greatest things that could ever happen in your life. And I agree. Although I was not able to see him personally, I feel so calm. I feel so peaceful. I feel safe. I feel so happy. Knowing that he arrived in the country safely, it is enough for me to feel that way. Truth be told, at first, I don’t believe other people who keeps on telling that they feel so light when they witness a rite which involves the highly respected Popes. But when I saw Pope Francis’s face on the window of the airplane he’s riding, my heart skipped a beat. And when he smiles as he waves to the crowd, goosebumps are covering my body. That surreal feeling is what keeps me peaceful.

Source: http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://www.occatholicnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/pope-francis-funny.png&imgrefurl=http://ncronline.org/blogs/young-voices/10-things-pope-francis-should-do-philadelphia&h=287&w=480&tbnid=WIi17degMO0LKM:&zoom=1&docid=Tdxhd6zO5ORlgM&ei=YYG4VPipNtSMuATbyYGgDw&tbm=isch&ved=0CGsQMygtMC0

And when he mentioned in his speech in Malacañang about the Typhoon Yolanda, a river of tears flashed in my memory. Reminding me the disaster that took many lives that just happened a year ago. They are the reason of today’s Papal Visit. Pope Francis came for them.

He is really the People’s Pope.We Filipinos are very blessed, grateful and beyond happy to have Pope Francis visit our country.                                                                                         Image Source

Vanilla Cupcake Bakery

This is so late to post but it’s never too late. Huh? What ami I saying? Hahaha

This time, I’m going to feature Vanilla Cupcake Bakery. I’ve been here two times already and even if I come back here everyday, I’ll never get used to the foods they serve. They are just too good to be resisted.

Vanilla Iced Tea
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Apple Iced Tea

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Country Breakfast

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I didn’t get to take a picture of their Cheesy Ham and Cheese Melt. Oh boy it’s so good! The cheese really melts in my mouth.

VCB will forever have a special space in my tummy and if it seems that it’s too full, I’ll make room for it.

Candy Magazine: Style Files

 

Okay, so last April, I was so happy to see myself featured as the It Girl of the Week on the website of Candy Magazine (the number 1 teen magazine in the Philippines). It just literally made my summer exciting. So I want to share with you the link of my feature. I hope you could check it out 🙂

Candy Style FilesCandy Style Files 2 Candy Style Files 3

14Four Cafe

It’s been so long that I wanted to visit this place after I watched it on TV. Those sumptuous meals shown made me crave for this. And finally, I got to visit 14Four Cafe. At last! Actually, I’ve been here two times already. The first time was when I’m with my boyfriend and the second was when I’m with my boyfriend (again), his mom, my mom, our mom’s friend, and my sister.

14 Four Tapa

This is one of their best-sellersI love how it tastes but one thing I dealt was, it’s hard to chew, not like other tapas.
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Country Fried Chicken

I’ve never tasted chicken like this before. It’s soooo good!

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Aligue and Tuyo Pasta

This is one of the dishes I wanted to try since I read many reviews that this is good. Well, to be honest, I didn’t like the pasta. (please don’t get mad at me 14Four Cafe) maybe it’s not just my type. I’m not a seafood lover. I guess I didn’t get what I expected. But my boyfriend loves it!
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Sesame Crusted Dory

If only I had the chance not to try it, I wouldn’t. I really didn’t like this. But like what I said, I’m not a fan of seafood so it’s really not my taste. And I don’t like cucumber, maybe that’s why I didn’t eat it lol. Although, my mom and her friends loved it.

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Cinnamon Bun Pancakes

Time for dessert! And yes, I loved it!
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Amaretto French Toast

Oh m gee! This has got to be my favorite of all! I love it to bits! Enough said

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And the first thing and main reason I fell in love with the café is the place itself! It’s like a hidden paradise perfect for a getaway. I’ll definitely go back here.

Be The Voice. Not The Echo

Someone told me to wait

But I think, I’ve waited long enough. Long enough to shatter my dreams; to break my heart.

I have a lot of questions in my head that I desperately want to answer . Am I good enough? Every time I ask this to my friends, I always get “of course you are!”. I don’t know if they’re saying it because it is true or just because they are my friends. Although it gives me lighter feeling to take me away from my darkest hours, still, a part of me is not convinced. 

Where am I good at? To be honest, this question kills me every now and then because I still don’t know the things I am good at. I’m sure that I can do something but I am not sure if I can do well in those things.

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Photo from Tumblr

I’ve been living behind someone’s back. I am tired of being the shadow. I want to be the voice, not the echo. I have a lot of insecurities. Maybe if I can’t get rid of my insecurities, I will be like this in my entire life.

The point of sharing this to you is to let my feelings out; to express what I can’t express to the people I see everyday. If I want to stand out in a crowd, I have to be the best of what I can be. The picture above inspired me to speak out when not heard; to be stronger in times I’m weak; and to stand up when down.

I may not have the greatest achievements today, but in time, I know it will land on my hands. I know that we are all good in different ways. I know that we have our own expertise. And I know that we can be the best among the rest. I will wait until that time comes.