I’ve always thought that all I need to do is to stay in my comfort zone. In that way, I can be happy and be what I want to be freely. Yes, I feel safe that way and you can’t blame me for that. But then I realized that I was wrong.
I was absolutely wrong.
There’s so much to enjoy outside the box. The thought of not getting out of my shell made me afraid of what the world can give me.
I was stuck at the thought of being happy with just what I have but I end up looking for something. It feels like a part of me is still missing.
Back when I was little, my parents always tell me “Ayan ka na naman Cielo, wag ka nga magtago sa likod namin. Natatakot ka na naman sa tao.” (Here you go again, Cielo, don’t hide behind us. You’re so afraid of the people). This line continued until my high school years.
All my life I’ve been afraid to people. Well, to what they can do, actually. I’m afraid that people will hurt me because I know they can. I believed that everyone is capable of hurting me. I’m scared of what they will say when I’m not around. I don’t want to speak out my ideas because I’m afraid of rejection. To be honest, I don’t want to be criticized but I know I will be. I didn’t do what I want.
I just did what they want.
Not for me but for them. I did it for me to please them.
But, is it them who I am scared of or is it just myself I cared about?
I didn’t do it to please them (well, sort of). I did it for them to like me because I want to belong.
That was my life before.
Someone very special once asked me “how could we know if something’s meant for us if we do not take chances?”
Let me say it this way: how would you tell that the food in the cafeteria tastes good or not if you don’t try it? You don’t want to because it looks like it’s made from leftovers? What if it tastes good? Then you missed one of the best foods you could ever eat in your entire life. It looks so appealing but what if it tastes like trash? The only way to know it is by tasting it.
I’m so tired of running away from the risks that I might have taken. Back then, I didn’t think that there are possibilities of fortune if I just took my chance. That time, I already believed that I am strong enough to do everything but still, not strong enough. I let fear run my life.
He’s right. For me to be completely happy, I should learn how to take risks with every chance I have. If the risk is good then it’s good. If it’s bad, then it is better. And if it’s TOO BAD, all you have to do is to trust yourself that you can succeed in what you’ve taken because I believe that you can if you think you can.
Now, I can say that I am a changed woman. I learned how to accept risks and see it in a positive way. I am stronger than before.
It made me realize that I was a coward. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me before—afraid of taking risks. I was caged in the thought of doing new things might lead me to failures. What’s wrong with it? It is more than okay to fail at times as long as you stand up. At the end of the day, what matters most is that we learn something from it.
Remember what Miss Venezuela– the newly crowned Miss Universe 2013– said in the question and answer portion?
I have overcome my fear of taking risks. I don’t care whether it’s good or not. I don’t care what other people will tell me. I don’t care how harsh their opinions are. All I care about is me living my life to the fullest without hurting someone. Now, it’s your turn. So, I dare you to take chances! 🙂
THE GIRL BEHIND THE PEN 